Woods Hates Watch Dogs.

It’s safe to say that Woods doesn’t share my opinion of Watch Dogs. I expressed how I felt about the game a little while back, but he was kind enough to offer a different perspective. Here it is. Enjoy! Or nah.

Ok, before I start, I’ll gladly mention that my role on this team is Cranky Kong, and I fully embrace that.

What I’m not going to do is compare this game to GTA. I will not. It seems easy to do, but to be honest with you, the only reason I beat GTA was because I was killing time until the online got situated. I thought the story mode left much to be desired, and online? Moving on.

With that being said, this game is boring, and I don’t think the game itself is to blame. But I had to look up the name of the main character (Aiden Pearce) because I just DID. NOT. CARE. about him in any capacity. You know who I DID care about? Ezio Auditore da Firenze. He came in the game with jokes, a fight, and flying rocks, my kinda character. Other characters I cared about? Jason and Vaas from Far Cry 3. From the jump I was intrigued, but with this Aiden guy, not so much. I struggle with wondering if I’m justifiably upset. I rarely played the first Assassin’s Creed, and the original Far Cry wasn’t even on my radar. Unfortunately, this game will be compared to games in those series, because ultimately the problem with this game is — I was left with way too many “Haven’t I done this before?” moments. Not like “Oh this game isn’t revolutionary, blah blah blah.” It just feels like DONT GET DETECTED FOR THE 2083408TH TIME OR FACE A DESYNC! with a different (yet beautiful) backdrop.

I need to ask someone who has never played an Ubisoft Action-Adventure game what they think of it. I think my feelings are clouded by playing 80% of the AC/Far Cry series, where they made mistakes and they had sequels to get it right. Don’t get me wrong, the hacking was…..interesting. But after finding more joy in reading everyone’s bios (just to start to see them repeated :/ ) and opening the bridges so I can jump a gap, I knew this wasn’t the game for me. I just felt those phone hacks ultimately meant little to the story. Jumping from camera to camera was one of the best things about the game, and I appreciate that in a game that forces you to be more stealth than Rambo. Well, at least until you’ve pissed off someone and have to drive away. Sheesh I hate the driving in this game. The good news is while my car is sloppily handling, I get to see a beautifully designed Chicago. It looks very nice, especially in the rain. I mean it LOOKS good, too bad I didn’t buy the game to sit in awe of its aesthetic.

The best parts of this single player game are the random mini games where Aiden’s tripping balls. I laughed because someone at Ubisoft got the green light to run these games, and they’re hilarious (which makes me wonder why folks complain about the absurdity in Saints Row) in theory because it really isn’t the tone of the game. There’s actually a lot to do ib this world. I found myself playing chess before I ran into a major shocker…..this game has a fun multiplayer! I wasn’t ready for that, but I’ll take it. If you can find yourself playing the MP mode for hours on end, it MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT just be worth your cash.

This game has essentially become a game I know I’ll never finish. I might log a few more hours just to do all the random side quests and kill some time until I find another game on Gamefly/PS+ to jump into. (Hellooooooo Skullgirls.) It’s one of those games that you rent, and say you dodged a bullet because you didn’t buy it. If a Watch Dogs 2 is released and they actually dropped the cookie cutter from Ubisoft games of the past, I’d be all for it. I like where they’re going, but as of now? Nah. I can’t say I’d suggest anyone buy it, but give it a nice rental. You knew that was coming though, being as I’m the Jay Sherman of this here site.

As usual, I look forward to someone telling me I’m wrong. Tell me what you think about the game. If you’ve played any of the prior Ubisoft offerings, tell me how they rack up.

Sidenote: Anyone notice how messed up the random black folk are walking the street? Sheesh.

Welp. There you have it.

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